A Straight Female Stand-up Comic Please

I've been looking for a stand-up person to do for my analysis for far too long. I did finally decide on one, but the search was the interesting part. I don't exactly have the deepest of backgrounds in stand-up. I'm much more familiar with SNL style skits or feature length movies or farcical novels. I'm not the person who turns on their TV and channel 69, Comedy Central is on. That said I still love comedy of course. Stand-up isn't that mainstream however, unless you count Letterman or Leno or Conan or that Irish guy, but they're more talk show host than stand-up act. Occasionally they do have a stand-up on. Letterman for instance has Robin Williams on to do stand-up about a month ago. Typically however, I've heard people comment "Must be a slow night" if a stand-up is on.
Anyway, what I want to talk about is my search for a stand-up comic. It was difficult because all of the obvious ones were on our syllabus. We can do those people, but I was looking for someone different. When that turned up fruitless, I just made one requirement: I wanted to do a straight woman stand-up comedian. Why? Because as evidenced by our syllabus, there aren't many and because I suffered through the whole of Margaret Cho's Assassin hoping it would get better (there went an hour of my life I will never get back). I vaguely remembered her being funny somewhere else. Not so much. Many other female options were lesbians and I'm just not willing to sit through something like that again. I don't "get it". It's for a very specific audience I guess. Very literally, Cho's performance was not for everyone.
The main issue that just frustrated and confounded me however was this: (a) Why are there so few women comedians and (b) why does it seem like the majority of them are lesbians?
I mean there's Rosie, Cho, Ellen and so on. I have nothing against that choice, but it's a strange social conundrum of the proportions of the question: Why is the percentage of black in sports so much higher than their percentage in the normal population? Is it genetic? Is it a societal factor? No one can really be sure for the latter question.
I guess that having that particular attribute gives them another thing to play off of in their acts. It's easier to make fun of a group when you are part of it, as we have said in class. It gives you permission. It makes it ok. Still, I can't answer why there are so few other famous women comedians. I guess the patriarchy is alive and well. It's the same question colleges like MIT ask themselves when 95% of their entering class is guys and not women. Why do certain professions still lean toward male dominance? Why comedy? Ladies, this needs to be fixed.